Five Quick Ways to get rid of all your clients, and close your doors forever.

From time to time you encounter a situation where you think to yourself "Why are these people even in business?"

Sometimes they are new and do not know better. Sometimes they have been in business a long time and don't realize their mistakes because they have become too comfortable. And other times who knows what the problem is. Besides, everyone is entitled to a bad day, and you do not know what the previous five customers before you were like.

But for those who are sincere about it, I have come up with five ways you can get rid of all of your clients and close your doors forever. After all, why drag it out. small business marketing article Quick Ways to get rid of all your clients, and close your doors forever.

  1. Keep the snotty attitude. I mean, why do you need to bother answering questions about your products? There are plenty of ways people can find the info they want without bothering you with phone calls or coming into the shop to answer questions.
    Besides, that's what your out of date website is for.
  2. Don't bother updating your website. You paid to have it built in 2004, and haven't touched it since. You don't get calls about it anymore anyways, and haven't since 2009 so it was obviously a rip off. Why spend more money on it? There are better ways to spend your marketing budget.
  3. Spend your marketing budget on beer and Fritos. Yeah, most businesses spend a set amount of money each year on marketing and promotions, but you have a system, and any day now people will start coming back to the shop the way they used to.
    Your experience tells you that all of this stuff is just a fad run by fools and con artists.
  4. Continue to treat industry professionals like fools and con artists. Remember that woman from the local paper and the guy from the radio station who used to always bother you with ad ideas that cost you money?
    Don't even get you started on the web guy who used to tell you to add a blog and newsletter to your online marketing efforts. As if you have time for that crap, and you sure aren't going to pay someone to do it for you.
    They haven't been around in a long time which just goes to show that you were right about them in first place. And your cousin Norman backs you up on it. You are so glad you hired him after his business folded.
  5. Keep surrounding yourself with people who will not consider change. Smart phones are just fads. Norman showed you an article a few years ago that said so. Besides, you know a lot of people who haven't changed their business in years.
    There's the woman who owns the corner store and still rents out video tapes, the parts shop that keeps all of their product info in filing cabinets because computers are for kids. And that guy who retired a few years ago, he still comes in to tell you what you should and shouldn't do. He's got great stories from when his dad opened their family store in the 40's.

By following these five steps, most of which you are probably already doing, your doors will be closed in no time. Then you will have plenty of time on your hands to do what you really wanted in the first place.

Best of luck to you.

Mitch Ross is the President, Creative Director and Sales Manager at, a web based marketing firm established in Sudbury, Ontario in 2003. Mitch’s expertise in the social media world is helping northern and rural organizations create and implement new media marketing strategies.

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